Ahh, December 2012. Here we are! Here I am. There’s so much buzz going on right now… at least what I’m noticing… there is a buzz. It feels like people in general are searching, seeking, trying to find what “works” for them. Ways to go through life to feel that they are at home, feel they are on the right path.
The word “path” is such a simple world. An image of a dirt path in the woods comes to mind. But really, a life path is comprised of so much more than just picking a linear direction. What I see is people want to be well, feel well, live well, love well!
So all the hustle and bustle is about trying to find a baseline for that. What is it? What are people seeking? Underneath it all- Physical Wellness/Love, Mental Wellness/Love, Spiritual Wellness/Love. Some people are very overtly searching, open in their expression of finding the space for their own Spirits voice to sing. Others are not even aware that they are searching for anything but their drowning Spirit shows its struggle by a constant display of needing approval/validation for a life they are unsure of …or a LACK of opinion, or knowing. Those are just two examples of what Ive noticed across the board.
There’s so much tenderness and so much innocence in the air. The great December 21st, 2012 end of the world phenomenon – casting out so many types of reactions…some people are defensive about it, some people disgusted, some think its funny, some are genuine believers that the worlds going to end, some are logical about their approach and do all the Mayan research, some think that Jesus is going to return to the lands, some think that everyone is going to be enlightened or that those who are not will stay on some plane of existence while others rise-up. Opinions are everywhere!
We are just tender little humans.
With all the tender little animals.
Living on on this strong little planet.
In this last year, especially, I’ve been really experimenting with a lot of life factors. I’ve spent a lot of time with myself and only myself. Done some real internal work (which isn’t over). Sat soberly through my own discomfort, heartache, happiness, and all of the ebbs and flows of life. There were times in this last year where I’ve laughed so hard, one or two times when I cried so hard. Times when I’ve looked at myself in the mirror and said “ugh, I can’t stand you.”, times when I looked at myself and said “I love you.” My spiritual practices are at an all-time high…which means I take time to honor the Spirit inside and outside of me which goes unseen in day-to-day life. The energy of my body is changing (very clearly to me) as I recently converted from vegan to raw vegan (80/10/10 style). Beginning a deep cleansing process which will take me through 2013. I meditate. I plan my life. I inform myself. Seeking, searching, wanting to help. Just like every other tender human being, but to my own unique degree.
Before writing this- I wasn’t sure what to write about. There is so much coming up for me. So many strong, strong feelings I’m experiencing about how to live this life to the fullest. So much wisdom. However, I do not want to share it because if I do – if I explain my life and all of its intricacies – it will come out like an opinion. When opinion is asserted out of the context of an environment of someone seeking council or help then it is a weak, underprepared and full of ego. That- I’ll admit, is my opinion on opinions! In this particular moment at least.
It may not be of benefit to anyone anymore to state isolated and premature opinions in the fashion that our culture has for decades and decades. We are submerged in the energy of masculine-aggressive opinionated culture. The politics, commercials, religions, doctors, nutritionists. Everyone…EVERYONE has got opinions. Many…MANY of them contradict each other. What does that say to you? Opinions certainly need to be voiced but there’s something jarring to me about how its going down these days- from the micro and macro perspective. Its just seems that there isn’t a strong backbone of knowing behind a lot of opinions. Its too much force and not enough magnetism.
Some humans are more wavering than others. Some peoples are very pliable and easily manipulated. Some are strong as rock and will crush anything in its path.
What do we accomplish by sharing our opinions with others? By putting our voice out there – attached with an opinion- wanting to be heard and understood? We accomplish creating a divide. We accomplish perpetuating the disconnect within our life system on this planet.
This is all not to say that I am free of ever participating in being opinionated. Fact is, I’ve got lots of opinions. And they are calcifying more and more as I ruminate, explore and experiment in my own life. Do I want to share these opinions? Sure. But it is time? No. It’s not time. Will it ever be time? Yes.
There is a lovely quote by Baba Ram Das, Author of Be Here Now – which states “If you know how to listen – everybody is the guru.” This means to say that there is no one person with the answer- but we all have answers. Listen to what comes up around you before feeding your need to insert your opinion.
So much energy is expelled on opinions, judgements, holding up an image, holding onto concepts and ideals just to feel solid in this life. The fact is – life isn’t solid. Life is impermanent.
What it comes down to is – we all want the same thing. We all want inner peace and we all want to experience love, in its many forms. What I’ve found over this last few years is the more I try to be something before I’m ready, the more crumbling and rebuilding there is. The FACT is that the earth is in a crucial state right now. We can keep attacking this this Mother and staying divided with each other and we will be extinct before the earth runs out of resources. This is a fact. People need to heal themselves and heal the world. Start embracing your neighbors. If you are reading this- you are on the internet – you are a wildly selfish individual. Hey-Hey! I am too, it’s okay! But know this.
If you have opinions, great. Live your life according to them if it feels right. But if you’re constantly needing to express your opinions or have your life be validated to be sure that you’re in the right place? Then you’re wasting energy on getting to the realness inside. You’re scared of what’s inside. Scared of shaking what you’ve committed to be true.
Once you start reaching that place inside, which takes courage, your opinions will either dissipate or if worthy they will transform into an internal knowing. This knowing is an upgrade from opinions because it doesn’t need ego-juice to survive. The irony of this nature is that then the outside world will want to know your opinion. It will be of VALUE. Like a pearl in an oyster.
This is not to say we all need to be hermits. It means walk before you talk. Get solid in your knowing. Get solid in yourself before you think you can change or effect any other energy mass of atoms around you in the way you want to.
That’s where I’m at right now.
I gleam insights of what may appear to be opinions as they come and feel inspired to do so, but I try to be in touch with that place of knowing in me which is beyond ego – and that’s a challenge!
My mission in life is to be of service in healing this planet which is not limited to any living thing on it. There is a great quote by Marianne Williamson which is
“You cannot give what you do not have”
Cultivate your life. Let your opinions shine through your authenticity rather than your ego. Forget about your image. Keep forgetting about your image. We cannot control others opinions or how they express them toward you or toward anything. The one and only thing in this life we can control is ourself, our mind. And that is the work – that is the point in which you’ll begin to discover infinite possibilities. Infinite potential. Infinite truths.
Life feels extraordinarily beautiful to me right now and this mood has been holding for quite some time now. So that’s where I’m at right now, I’m surrendering my opinions over and over again.
My only advice to anyone who may read this is:
Surrender. Consciously and deeply. Let life show you what it wants to show you. Stop trying to show it what you think you know.
It’s a constant practice but worth so much as you will see…